8 Ways to Know Whether or Not to Move on in Your Love Life

 

Relationships can be exceedingly complex, and it can be difficult to know when to move on with our lives. Relationships have to ability to make everything in life seem wonderful. They also have to ability to make everything seem pretty miserable, too.

It’s not always obvious when the time has come to start a different chapter in our lives. It’s so easy to be stuck in a state of ambivalence. Some aspects of the relationship might be great, but other aspects may not be going well. Maybe things are good enough to continue, but maybe this relationship is holding you back. What do you do?

Instead of trying to weigh your relationship on a scale, perhaps a diagnostic approach would be more effective to decide if your relationship is moving on or if maybe it would be better if you moved on.

Your answers to these questions can help you make a final decision:

1.      Are your relationship needs being met relatively easily? If you’re constantly struggling to have your needs satisfied, your relationship is likely causing more harm than good.

2.      Is there mutual respect? Why spend your life with someone that you don’t respect or doesn’t respect you? Respect is a critical component of any relationship, and it’s a two-way street.

3.      Does your partner enhance your life in some meaningful way? Would you really lose something by moving on? If not, you might want to put yourself in the position to find someone who really does add something positive to your life.

4.      Are you good at forgiving each other? All relationships have a need for forgiveness. Where there is no forgiveness, there is resentment.

5.      Do you have fun together? A positive relationship has a component of fun to it. If you can’t enjoy your time with each other, why are you together?

6.      Do you share goals? If your goals don’t match, at least one of you may be miserable in the end. Can you develop some goals that you can both agree upon?

7.      Do you genuinely like your partner? Are you proud to be with them? These qualities are also important to maintain a strong bond with each other.

8.      Are you truly attracted to your partner? It’s true that sex isn’t everything, but it does factor in. Do you feel mutual attraction and passion for each other?

All of these questions support the idea that a relationship should add something to your life rather than drain it away. You should be happier with your relationship than without it.

Any relationship requires time and effort put forth by both partners. It cannot survive and thrive on the efforts of one alone. Ask yourself whether or not you’re both putting in the necessary time and energy to make it work.

Consider that it might be valuable to apply these questions to some of your other relationships as well. Many of these questions are relevant to friendships and even work relationships. Take some time and examine all of your relationships. As you and the other people in your life evolve, some of your relationships might not make sense now.

Notice that there isn’t a question about how or even whether or not you can find someone else. Once you’ve extracted yourself from your current situation, you will rediscover the skills and attitudes needed to start a new relationship.

Diagnosing your relationship objectively can provide the information you require to make a smart decision. Give it some thought and take care of yourself.

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